Would you know who you are without your past?

It’s a strange question because, of course, none of us can erase our memories. That would be a silly suggestion. But I keep wondering what would happen if we stopped relying on our past to prepare us for every present moment? Would we feel freer? Could it be that the rest of us are trying to use the past for something it was never meant to do?

Maybe the better question is this: Can we trust the string?

This essay explores the often-overlooked relationship between trauma and grief, and why regulating the nervous system is sometimes only the tip of the tip of the iceberg and we are sitting at the very beginning of the deeper work of mourning. We are living now in a life that has changed forever.

Many mindfulness practices teach us how to become less reactive. Fewer teach us how to stay fully human. Somewhere in the pursuit of calm, we’ve started sanding down the very edges that make us interesting. Is that growth, or are we just getting a little boring?

What happens to the self when we lose contact with where we end and another person begins? In a culture organized around both hyperconnection and emotional avoidance, many people oscillate between emotional fusion and emotional cutoff without realizing either extreme can erode the self. Drawing from neuroscience, Bowen Family Systems Theory, contemplative practice, burnout research, and even the film Cast Away, this essay explores the fragile architecture of identity, intimacy, and the difficult art of remaining connected without disappearing into one another.

A cultural critique questioning overcorrection from a clinician’s perspective.

Are you feeling unusually drained?

You might be carrying more than your share. Or maybe you don’t have enough juice in your own battery pack, so you need to siphon some energy from elsewhere.

Learn how borrowed functioning might be keeping you stuck and from recovering.